Question and answer details
|I Know I Have A Lot of Potential!|
|As salamu 'alaykum... There is loads on my mind, and I am writing to you trying to get a different perspective on things. I sometimes feel I have low self-esteem, as in I know I can do things, but the thought of doing something new, like going somewhere for the first time just makes me real nervous even at the mention of it. I end up saying "no" to things, just to avoid the situation, even if inside of me I really want to go and challenge myself - (it's like going to the market place alone). I am not afraid of the people. Its like "How am I going to do this?" What will I say, and how do I act? These things keep going through my head. I even feel really bad or weird holding food items in front of people as in I would dread holding a packet of crisps and moving around, even at college. I feel dumb about these things as I know I have a lot of potential. This thing is becoming a hurdle, as in I don't even go to get simple things for myself. I can't always be dependent on others like my mother or brothers for it so how do I solve this!|
AnswerDear sister S
You remind me of myself when I was younger. I used to think that the whole world is watching me. Of course, nobody cared really about me, and what I was doing, but that was my impression. And there are many people like you and me all over the world. There are two main reasons why this happens to us:
1. Social Expectations and pressures whereby we are used to seeing and hearing people commenting negatively on simple things others do. As a result, everything seems little to us and we want to avoid feeling ashamed.
2. Lack of self esteem.
3. Practice positive self speak and come up with your own personal mantra such as: " I am capable", " I can do it"
4. Share your feelings with someone close to you and have them role play a situation with you before you go to a place or do something in public.
5. Write about your feelings. Then write against your feeling. Then write your final decision then read it out-loud before you go and do it or say it.