Follow-Up - A Disturbing Liaison

Question and answer details
Follow-Up - A Disturbing Liaison
This is a follow up to A Disturbing Liaison . As-salamu `alaykum. You will be pleased to know that since the reply, I have dropped my hours at the work place, I now work only one day out of seven. This means that I don’t see X as much as I did, in fact it is very rare that I see X at all. The problem I am having now is that not only am I financially very disadvantaged, as I have reduced working one day instead of the five that I had. This means that I have more time to myself at home, in which case I am always thinking about X anyway, as it keeps playing in my mind over and over again. I miss X a lot, unfortunately. I can’t help how I feel about the whole situation. I have tried to do more religious activities in my spare time, but it still has the same impact on me. In fact the situation has got worse. I am depressed and moping and thinking about X. It’s playing on my mind like a disease. I can’t think straight or anything, I am moody around my family, and I am thinking of taking antidepressant tablets. It seems like I am having withdrawal symptoms!! My parents have started seeing a difference in my attitude. Sometimes I’m on the prayer mat reading and other times I feel like I want to explode. What the hell has happened to me? How do I get over X? Please try to advise me!! I really need to get X out of my head. Wa salam.
Layla A. Asamarai
Wa `alaykum as salam, dear brother.

I would commend you on your motivation to improve your condition; however, I am highly concerned that you have dropped your work load from five days down to one. Furthermore, it seems that you have developed some sort of an obsession with X. What I would like to ask from you is that you write back by referring to X as a “he,” because X is a genderless entity; however, the reality is that the X you are referring to is a man. This is an important distinction because it impacts the way in which you and I conceptualize and candidly talk about your dilemma. Also, I would be interested in knowing whether this is the first homosexual attraction you have experienced and, if not, if you could elaborate on past ones and what was the same or different.

In sha’ Allah after learning more about you and the specifics of your obsession/infatuation with X, I will be more competent to answer your questions and offer you guidance and support.