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The Road to Pregnancy

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Part One
Diary of a New Mom
By Nesma Abd El-Aziz
Freelance Writer- Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
cute-baby-1
I believe that pregnancy starts with the decision of becoming a mom not with bearing a child in your insides.

Pregnancy is a play of several acts and scenes; a combination of feelings and memories that can never be forgotten as long as a mother lives.

It is the best of times; it is the worst of times. Apart from what Charles Dickens was describing in his epic A Tale of Two Cities, any mom will tell you that her journey through pregnancy can be summarized in these words. It is not an easy mission; yet we all wish to experience it.

I believe that pregnancy starts with  a decision of becoming a mom, not with bearing a child in your inside. Once you have made this decision, you become pregnant with a sea of emotions, worries, assumptions and definitely fears. Believe it or not, this combination is much heavier than the baby himself.

I'll try to relate my experience as a mom-to-be, not for the sake of writing in itself; it is simply  because I need to pour my heart out, and I need my baby to know how happy and proud I'm to have him/her. Yes, I don't know yet.

So let's begin the journey.

More...

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- Am I Ready for a Baby? A New Mum Wonders

- 50+ Q & A about Child Development


The Waiting Phase...

Pregnancy is all about waiting. You wait to get pregnant, you wait during pregnancy and at the end you wait to deliver. It is a never ending waiting circle. Once you finish a round, you start the other.

But the worst part is that if you  fail to get pregnant shortly after you have decided  to be a mom, you'll try to play the cool one for some time; but this only lasts for the first couple of months.

You will start telling yourself "Never mind, maybe next month, I'm not in a hurry, I still have the time, I want to spend some time with my husband, just the two of us." And so on and so forth. But between you, me and your closest friend, all these are  big fat lies. You worry, you don't want a free time; you want a baby, you have made your decision and you want it now.

Unfortunately, we find out that this is another thing in this life that lies beyond our control as humans. It lies in His Hands, in God's Hands. All you can do is keep trying, never lose hope and raise your head up and pray...

pregnancy-test
Relax as much as you can, because once the great play begins there will be a lot of work then.

Just Relax

I didn't know that getting pregnant would be this hard. I see women with big tummies wherever I go. So why is it so hard for me to get pregnant?

After spending some time reading on pregnancy, I discovered that the answer lies in the question itself. I need to stop asking myself and thinking about it. Getting pregnant needs a clear mind. When it will happen it'll happen. Just drop it for a while.

But I can't help it. The problem is that when a woman sets her heart on having a baby and it doesn't happen soon enough, she starts to think of worst case scenarios. The first thing that comes to her mind is that there's something wrong is going on or that she might have a problem that needs medical treatment. The more pregnancy is delayed the more this fear grows inside.

I'm not a doctor but I know that at such time fear in itself can delay pregnancy. This is a fact that you'll hear from your doctor, mom, friends and neighbors. To avoid all of this you can run some medical tests before marriage to make sure that you and your partner are OK. In turn, this will help you relax in the coming times. The point is that you need not to worry unless there is a reason for it or else you are doing yourself no good.

Relax as much as you can, because once the great play begins there will be a lot of work then.

Avoid the Audience

As I stated in the beginning pregnancy is like a play where I and my coming baby are the stars. Hence, all the eyes will be focused on just the two of us.

Part of relaxing and clearing your mind is to avoid the audience. If you are like me and you don't like to be the center of attention try to avoid talking about this issue with people. By people I mean family and relatives and those who won't stop nag you about it.

I know that this is hard as they'll watch you closely and wait for you to do anything wrong so that they can give one of their long informative lectures. If you go through this dilemma like me, here I would just say it again: avoid the audience.

Of course don't isolate yourself completely; all you need to do is to divert people's attention to something else other than your pregnancy. Try to engage yourself with a project, activity or even your job; make any of these things your highest priority and sink into it. This will take the pressure off your brain and will save you people's nosy comments.

Nevertheless, always remember that when people worry about you it's definitely a sign of love and care. They just don't know how to handle their feelings. I keep telling myself  that may be they th were subjected to the same situation I'm facing now and maybe I'll do the same with someone else in the future. Who knows? I just don't need to think about this now.

The Thin Purple Line

All of the disturbing and confusing elements that I've just stated above will disappear once a blood test comes out positive or once two purple lines appear on a stick instead of one or once the word pregnant comes out instead of not pregnant on a home pregnancy test. But we will continue with this later…

I didn't know that getting pregnant would be this hard. I see women with big tummies wherever I go. So why is it so hard for me to get pregnant?

After spending some time reading on pregnancy, I discovered that the answer lies in the question itself. I need to stop asking myself and thinking about it. Getting pregnant needs a clear mind. When it will happen it'll happen. Just drop it for a while.

But I can't help it. The problem is that when a woman sets her heart on having a baby and it doesn't happen soon enough, she starts to think of worst case scenarios. The first thing that comes to her mind is that there's something wrong is going on or that she might have a problem that needs medical treatment. The more pregnancy is delayed the more this fear grows inside.

I'm not a doctor but I know that at such time fear in itself can delay pregnancy. This is a fact that you'll hear from your doctor, mom, friends and neighbors. To avoid all of this you can run some medical tests before marriage to make sure that you and your partner are OK. In turn, this will help you relax in the coming times. The point is that you need not to worry unless there is a reason for it or else you are doing yourself no good.

Relax as much as you can, because once the great play begins there will be a lot of work then.

Related Links:
“Mummy, I Wanna Have a Laptop, Not a Doll!”
The Child’s Imagination
The Family Bed in Islam

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